Sunday night. while sleeping with Sanjana, after Vaishutai passed away on Saturday
Sanjana: Mommy, I am sorry about your sister.
Me: Thanks Sanjana, what made you say that now? (I had been a bit worried that kids were not showing any sadness after I broke the news to them Saturday morning).
S: I just thought of saying it now.
Me: How do you feel?
S: I feel a sadness inside of me, but didn't want to tell you as I didn't want you to be more sad.
Me: (gave her a good hug)
S: Why are you crying? Why are you sad?
Me: I think about all the things Vaishutai said to me, and I am sad that she can't have those things. I am sad that I can't talk to her.
S: Why do you call Aaji and Grandpa and talk about her and cry?
Me: I can't stop talking about her. She is always on my mind, and I want to only think and talk of her. But I am doing other things, and when I talk to Aaji and Grandpa they want to talk of her too, b'coz they feel the same way, and we cry b'coz we miss her.
S: Maybe you can ask them if they are ok with you talking about her. Maybe you should talk to them about what they want to talk about.
Me: I am sorry I am not being a good mom right now.
S: I understand.
Me (still crying, trying to make sure I remember this conversation):
S: Do you want to calm down?
Me: Yes
S: Take your right hand and move it over your fingers in your left hand, breathing in when you go up a finger, breathing out when you go down. This is what Mrs. Ray taught us.
Me: thank you
S: you could also pretend you are sipping cocoa. This is what Mrs. R taught us.
Me: Thank you, it helped me a lot. Can I share this with Grandpa and Aaji?
S: Yes you can. But please give the credit to Mrs Ray and Mrs. R. This is what I learnt from them.
Sanjana: Mommy, I am sorry about your sister.
Me: Thanks Sanjana, what made you say that now? (I had been a bit worried that kids were not showing any sadness after I broke the news to them Saturday morning).
S: I just thought of saying it now.
Me: How do you feel?
S: I feel a sadness inside of me, but didn't want to tell you as I didn't want you to be more sad.
Me: (gave her a good hug)
S: Why are you crying? Why are you sad?
Me: I think about all the things Vaishutai said to me, and I am sad that she can't have those things. I am sad that I can't talk to her.
S: Why do you call Aaji and Grandpa and talk about her and cry?
Me: I can't stop talking about her. She is always on my mind, and I want to only think and talk of her. But I am doing other things, and when I talk to Aaji and Grandpa they want to talk of her too, b'coz they feel the same way, and we cry b'coz we miss her.
S: Maybe you can ask them if they are ok with you talking about her. Maybe you should talk to them about what they want to talk about.
Me: I am sorry I am not being a good mom right now.
S: I understand.
Me (still crying, trying to make sure I remember this conversation):
S: Do you want to calm down?
Me: Yes
S: Take your right hand and move it over your fingers in your left hand, breathing in when you go up a finger, breathing out when you go down. This is what Mrs. Ray taught us.
Me: thank you
S: you could also pretend you are sipping cocoa. This is what Mrs. R taught us.
Me: Thank you, it helped me a lot. Can I share this with Grandpa and Aaji?
S: Yes you can. But please give the credit to Mrs Ray and Mrs. R. This is what I learnt from them.
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